Goode Women

There has long been an attitude growing that men who deal with same-sex attraction are doing a disservice to the women they marry. It has even been said that it should be actively discouraged by the Church. Some even say that the Church already discourages it.

I have been asked how those of us who are in a so-called Mixed-Orientation marriage would feel if our daughters were to marry a man like us. I’ll gladly answer the question about whether I would want my daughters to marry SSA men. I don’t really care. I raised my daughters to be free thinkers and make their own decisions. Although, in some ways, they will always be my little girls, they’re also their own women.

I’ve always rejected the notion that a father’s job is to raise little girls. I think a father’s job is to raise women from little girls. I’ve also rejected the idea that a man owns his children.

I remember vividly when my daughters were sealed in the temple to their husbands. I contrasted it with the traditions of men where someone gives away the bride as if she were her father’s property. In the temple, no such ritual exists and the woman gives herself away. Her father is merely a spectator insofar as the ordinance is concerned.

Both of my daughters and one son have multinational marriages. Two of them even have multiracial marriages. All eight of my grandchildren have multinational heritages representing three races. My children so far have all married well and the one currently single is dating a wonderful woman we hope will become on of us soon.

Surely if ever a marriage had challenges, it would be one that is multiracial. My son-in-law who came from Nigeria is an awesome provider and father to my grandchildren. They face a lot of prejudice, more than a completely black or white family would. It doesn’t bother them. It doesn’t bother me. In fact, he has forged ahead to make a great life for his family and I don’t think he thinks much about being discriminated against. He just works hard. I like the feeling of having strong, confident, and challenged posterity and in-laws too.

Goode Men

I have always repudiated any philosophy that is based on a victim posture. This idea that women are frail, inferior, and in need of male protection is the most odious philosophy I can think of in terms of damage to women. I raised strong children who can make their own decisions and deal with the consequences of those decisions. If my daughters had married men with SSA, I would have supported them. I would be proud of them. I would welcome their husbands into my family with the same enthusiasm and acceptance as I have all of my children’s spouses. I would be there to help them if they asked and would always love them.

I would much rather know that my children were ready for life’s challenges than to shield them from those challenges. That they are full adults who can make their own decisions is good enough for me.

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